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Publicity
Opening the Pandora's box of cybersex
- By Helen Grange
If South Africans were ever a bit Victorian about sex, they've since emerged from the closet more brazenly than Priscilla in the desert. Pandora's box has been opened, and the key is the Internet.
The www.aboutlovers.co.za mastermind "Cherie" (not her real name) insists that hers is not a "pure sex site" like the others, but a discreet channel to accommodate "very upmarket people" who are having, or hankering for, an affair.
According to the site's preamble, people engage in affairs out of boredom, emotional hunger, a need for sexual novelty, variety and adventure, a need for passion again and so on.
"Combine all this with the stresses and complications of a long-term relationship/marriage such as financial issues, child-rearing issues, as well as the mundane dreariness of day-to-day living and the scene is set for an exciting affair.
"The above issues rarely exist in extramarital affairs so the excitement and intensity of feeling as well as the centrality of sex does not destroy the passion," it says.
"There is a gap or emptiness in their lives, which cannot be filled in their everyday relationships," it adds.
Cherie says the site has proved a big hit. "My clientele are about 60 percent men and 40 percent women. I'm not an escort service. I'm expensive and I insist on meeting people personally to screen them, particularly for the women, so what people are getting is a whole person, not somebody who objectifies a woman as a sex object."
Her women subscribers, she says, tend to be on her books for at most eight to 10 months - indicating that they want only a short-term liaison.
Interestingly, many of the women who join are single, aged between 22-45, who don't want a long-term commitment because they are focusing on their careers and enjoying their space and independence.
While the straight sex sites require people to pay subscription fees
online,the aboutlovers.co.za site
only signs up prospective members once Cherie has met them
personally and it has a three and a six month membership.
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"Opening the Pandora's box of cybersex
" - Helen Grange
As appeared in the Star 'Verve' supplement
February 27 2001
'I'm not an escort
service.'
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