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Publicity
Opening the Pandora's box of cybersex
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By Helen Grange If South Africans were ever a bit
Victorian about sex, they've since emerged from the closet more
brazenly than Priscilla in the desert. Pandora's box has been
opened, and the key is the Internet.
The www.aboutlovers.co.za mastermind
"Cherie" (not her real name) insists that hers is not a "pure sex
site" like the others, but a discreet channel to accommodate "very
upmarket people" who are having, or hankering for, an affair.
According to the site's preamble, people engage in affairs
out of boredom, emotional hunger, a need for sexual novelty, variety
and adventure, a need for passion again and so on.
"Combine
all this with the stresses and complications of a long-term
relationship/marriage such as financial issues, child-rearing
issues, as well as the mundane dreariness of day-to-day living and
the scene is set for an exciting affair.
"The above issues
rarely exist in extramarital affairs so the excitement and intensity
of feeling as well as the centrality of sex does not destroy the
passion," it says.
"There is a gap or emptiness in their
lives, which cannot be filled in their everyday relationships," it
adds.
Cherie says the site has proved a big hit. "My
clientele are about 60 percent men and 40 percent women. I'm not an
escort service. I'm expensive and I insist on meeting people
personally to screen them, particularly for the women, so what
people are getting is a whole person, not somebody who objectifies a
woman as a sex object."
Her women subscribers, she says,
tend to be on her books for at most eight to 10 months - indicating
that they want only a short-term liaison.
Interestingly,
many of the women who join are single, aged between 22-45, who don't
want a long-term commitment because they are focusing on their
careers and enjoying their space and independence.
While the
straight sex sites require people to pay subscription fees
online,the aboutlovers.co.za site only signs up
prospective members once Cherie has met them personally and it has a
three and a six month membership. |
"Opening
the Pandora's box of cybersex " - Helen Grange
As appeared in the
Star 'Verve' supplement
February 27 2001
'I'm not an escort
service.' |
