Publicity

A date, if not with destiny
- Gaynor Kast

Dating is not always easy. When the business trips go into a lull, professional people may find themselves out on a limb when it comes to finding company.

Dating isn't one of the easiest games around. And while some people find the idea of meeting total strangers a breeze, others cringe at the idea for various reasons.

Also, most people are caught up in a rat race and work around the clock, so making time to meet someone new is not always high on their list of priorities.

However, once all the paper work is out of the way and the business trips are on hold, many individuals (both men and women) who aren't in a relationship look for companionship.

And that's where Cherie (not her real name) from a dating agency called 'about lovers' plays a big part.

This is not your average dating agency and has come under fire from certain sections of the public because it's not restricted to single people only. It is here that married men are able to meet single women and single women can meet men who are married.

The one question people often asked is why anyone would want to start a club of this sort? Cherie speaks very matter-of-factly.

She explained it all came about: "Because of my background in psychology I'm very interested in the dynamics of relationships. "I left the corporate world more than 15 years ago and wanted to do something different. I saw an advertisement in a newspaper when I was in New York and thought it would be a good idea.

"Of course I had to change some things to suit the South African market and had no idea whether it would work or not. It was like flying a kite. "It took off like a bomb and to date there are about 800 people and of that number 65% are men. The single men make up 30% and the rest are married men. This is an ideal set-up for those people who want to meet individuals without emotional strings attached."

She points out that often it's the men who renew their contracts while for some of the women it's a once-off thing. For those who would consider belonging to this club, trying to get a foot in the door is not as easy as it seems. And don't even consider knocking if you are in two minds.

A prospective member first has to meet Cherie who does "a thorough check" before giving the nod. "This is where my psychology background comes in. If I sense that a person is emotional needy I refer them to other clubs.

"If I feel slightly uncomfortable with a man or detect a bit of suppressed anger then I won't allow him to belong to the club. "I'm also not here to persuade anyone to join so if someone is indecisive they shouldn't bother coming here."

Cherie makes it quite clear that she doesn't see herself as a "matchmaker". "I don't help people look for their soulmates. I merely introduce people who are looking for company with no emotional ties attached. After that first introduction it is really up to the individuals.

"Contrary to popular belief, people who join this club are not in it for the sex. I know this might sound hard to believe but women mention the need for physical contact more than men."

Most of the women at the club are independent, self-sufficient individuals with high-profile jobs, who simply want companionship. This dating agency is morally and socially acceptable, or not, depending on which side of the fence you are.

But for Cherie, the condemnation she sometimes receives is "par for the course". "I think people should realise that I'm not here to promote promiscuity. I simply give people an option and in most cases help save a marriage."

So how long does Cherie intend keeping this club going? "I will continue running it for as long as it is viable," she says with a tone of optimism in her voice.